So, our file has been in Zambia for 8 weeks today (the file left 10 weeks ago and it takes two weeks to be approved, etc.). I have thought long and hard about how long we are going to wait to receive our referral and today, on the day that marks our 8 week wait, I have decided that I won't think of it anymore. I have come to a stage in this adoption process that I have to let go of the anxiety or go on some serious medication. So today, I let it go. And instead of counting the weeks, days, minutes, seconds.. I have decided to count the 8 things I am most passionate about in life. This way, I can concentrate on all of the wonderful things I have in my life and not focus on what we don't have. This week, marks the end of an era and the beginning of something wonderful - inner peace.
8 - Education - It may seem funny to those of you who know me and know that I have never finished anything in my life including my degree, but education is something I am extremely passionate about. I am not talking about the formal, expensive kind although I do believe in it as-well. I am talking about life's own education. The kind you only get by living and communicating with all different people. I have many friends who have chosen the "simple" life (their words, not mine), never wishing to travel and try different foods and meet different people. I believe in their life as well. However, I can't imagine my life without all of those things. Who would I be without my books? Who would I be without having gone to the Mexican house party years ago, or making friends in Guatemala and taking road trips to their cottage? I can't imagine my life without this education - it is something I am passionate about and is within the core of my being. I can't wait to teach Amara to live life to the fullest, to take every opportunity that is presented and to open her eyes to new and wonderful things.
7 - Writing - I do have 6 novels, all in various stages - none complete (of course). I love to write. I have never had any formal education and would love to take some creative writing courses - it probably wouldn't hurt to learn the proper use of punctuation, etc. either. I have kept a journal since I was 6 years old. It was my best friend during my parent's divorce and I would never have travelled without my pen and paper. Writing is my therapy, my escape, my passion, my friend.
6 - Travel and talking about my travels - Travel is the most important form of education to me. It taught me how to relate to all different people, how important language is, the beauty of the world in which we live, the importance of exercise (he he) and was just plain fun. I have wonderful stories that have come out of my travels and when they come up, I can't get enough of telling them. Next trip - Lusaka, Zambia which, i'm sure, will be the biggest adventure of all.
5 - Independence, fullfillment and always being me - I think my aunties (from both sides of my family) taught me about these ones. I grew up in the shadows of their strength, watching them all be kick-ass broads. They always struggled financially through life, but never did I see an ounce of jealousy for what other's had. They persevered and donated their time and efforts to various efforts around the world. They taught me that it was ok to be smart and a woman, not to dumb myself down for men. They taught me to follow my dreams. They taught me to pick up a bag, and go travelling. They taught me that to be alone also meant a sort of empowerment. They taught me the value of all different kinds of books. I love my Aunties. Best of all, they taught me to be a great Auntie too.
4 - Our cottage - I love this home away from home where we go as a couple and spend endless amounts of hours in discussion and comfortable silence. Each Friday afternoon, we pack our car, our puppy and all our amenities for the weekend and we set out on our jouney North - each journey different from the last. The two and a half hour drive always flys by because it means that we catch up on all the things we may have missed about eachother during the week. Sometimes we sing, really loud (me louder than Darryl of course) and sometimes we just people watch our neighbours in the traffic jam. Last Sunday, Darryl and I passed the beautiful, sunny day, not thinking of the adoption (ok well maybe for a few minutes). Instead, we refinished an old dresser, went for a swim in the lake together (Darryl, Rex and I) and has a lazy afternoon nap where we cuddled and dreamed of Amara. The cottage is more than a cottage to me - it is a symbol of our family and our happy times together.
3- Africa - Ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamed and thought of and been consumed by all that is Africa/n. I spend my childhood with my nose between the pages of a National Geographic magazine and as I reached highschool, i always completed my projects, etc. around africa and it's countries and people. Whilst in University, I ensured I took interest "African Cultures" courses and now my focus has shifted. I am consumed by learning and feeling all that is Zambian. I want to know my child's heritage so that I can teach her her culture and so that she too, will love Zambia and its peoples. I am so excited that I made a connection with a gentleman and his Charity (who needs sporting equipment and school supplies and clothing) and will be communicating back and forth to him. I believe in his cause and I believe that nothing will draw our daughter closer to her homeland like a direct connection as I have recently made. I am excited to get fundraising.
2 - Rex - Ok, I know it seems funny that my dog is number 2 of 8 list but I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. What more can I say without sounding like a crazy dog person with too much blush and big, big hair.
1 - My family - My husband - This one speaks for itself. Our future child, whom I already love, as-well. My father who is the most unique person I know and who taught me that being myself is cool. My mum, who I can't say enough about. My sister who is the best girlfriend in the world. My in-laws who IMMEDIATLY thought of me as a daughter, sister, auntie, etc. And last but not least my husband. I can't even write about him without crying. Growing up in a dysfunctionally normal home, I never pictured myself married or happy with a husband. It is funny because, now I can't even believe that I thought that way. He is my left arm, the one I lean on when the right isn't working. He is the most supportive, kind, sweet, wonderful human being I have ever met. Without him, I am not sure where I would be (don't tell him that, it would go straight to his head).
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