The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives

Pssst, have you heard???? Today our restructured agency begins operations again. I can tell you now that I am full of hope and determination to see this adoption through and to have our baby girl in our arms. We are somewhere near the middle of the "line" and I am feeling great about that although at this point I would wait forever and we may just have to.

Before the agency went bankrupt this summer, Darryl and I had many discussions on whether or not we were doing what was right for us. We had been so hopeful when pregnant and then so sad with each loss. Then we had been so hopeful with Zambia and then completely destroyed with that loss. Then as time lines increased dramatically throughout our Ethiopian adoption, we felt like we were moving further away from our family. I feel like a mum already. Darryl feels like a dad. My mum feels like a Nan and my dad a Papa. We are all so ready. I have never had a fertility treatment. We are told we are able to have biological babies. When we started this process I was 29 and now I am 31. I was feeling like my body was getting older and I am high risk to begin with. Maybe this adoption was the wrong route. Maybe we should stop the adoption and begin our biofamily and adopt after.

Then the news hit. Our world turned upside down in a matter of what was to us, minutes. We loved her. We felt we lost her. Suddenly, it all made sense to us. We were all along on the right path. Adopting Amara was the best thing for our family. She was all that mattered. And so, in some way this bankruptcy has had a positive, powerful effect on D & I. We know we are NOT willing to give up. We know we are on the right track. We will continue until she is home. And today is the first day of the rest of our lives.