A Watched Pot Never Boils...

And I am real good at watching pots. But, I am determined. Determined to turn my back on the looming "pot". Determined to live my life. Enjoy my life. Love my life. Each moment of it. I have a friend who is very sick and when I think of him, I am able to put things in perspective. Life is worth living, living big & passionately. Don't get me wrong. Watching the pot is an innate quality that I have always possessed. I have a hard time not spending every moment of every day thinking of Amara. For instance, last night Darryl and I practiced "Patty Cakes" so that we knew every word and hand clap in order to correctly impart this information to Amara when she arrives. At the sound of our hands clapping together Wrecks the dog started jumping all over us because he assumed we wanted to play because to him Amara isn't real yet. And this caused a whole new set of questions in our heads. "We need to train Wrecks to not jump on people before Amara is knocked over by him" types of questions.

Yesterday, I drove by a home that had all of their leaves raked into a pile that was at the bottom of their slide. I quietly thought to myself, "mental note for when Amara gets here - she might like that."

And then, this thought of "when Amara gets here" is always a cautious thought. One that is always immediately, instinctively followed by a thought of Caution. "No Annie, remember IF - "If Amara gets here". But we have to believe.
The power of Now.
The positive vibes.
The dreaming is believing perspective.

Our agency has been resurrected. Our agency has risen from its ashes. We have AMAZING people who work there. We have AMAZING human beings advocating on our behalf. We have Internet and phones and a new office. Amazing, wonderful brothers and sisters and friends fundraising to ensure the agency that brings our Amara home does NOT go bankrupt again. Just this week we received the new contract from the new Imagine Adoption providing a whole new layer of hope. The contract was thorough but it comes with a whole new set of "what ifs". We need people to want to continue. We need people to be able emotionally, physically, and financially to continue. By November 31st we will know whether or not we have enough people resigning. If we do not have enough, there essentially won't be enough money in the account meaning that the agency folds again! If we have enough (which it looks like we will) the agency continues and we may see some referrals in the early new year. Not our referral but truthfully, it doesn't matter right now. Because I am consciously not watching the pot. We are going to the gym lots and walking with Wreckers and visiting friends and looking forward to Christmas (hopefully our last as a family of two).