Today is a Good Day!!!

Today is a good day, yesterday was even better. We had our final homestudy yesterday and our practitioner told us “unofficially” that he will be recommending us for approval to the Ministry of Ontario. It was a 5 hour meeting that went really well. He asked us all sorts of questions. Here are a few that I found hard to answer or was shocked at the question itself. “If you could get a white baby for the same price, would you?” WHAT?????? Who of the two of you will be more strict? What types of discipline do you believe you will use with your child? What will be her responsibilities within your home? Will you parent the same way as your parents did? How do you feel about privacy in your home? Do you have sex with the door open? Are you satisfied with your current sex life? How do you resolve conflict between you and Darryl? How do you plan on financing this adoption? What is the difference between discipline and punishment? How will you tell your child she is adopted? Who has more control in your relationship? What colour are your neighbours and friends? How do you plan to teach your child about her heritage and culture? What will you tell your child about her history and why she was given up for adoption?
Anyway, those are just a few because we had two of those five hour meetings in our home. We were very lucky in that he was a warm, kind man with a good sense of humor. When we were finished I asked if I could hug him and he gave me the nicest hug, warm and big and just a nice hug. When I phoned my mum last night, she read me her letter of reference that she wrote. It was the most beautiful letter, I cried all night. It just seems so real right now. I know we have a long wait ahead of us – a long torturous wait. But each thing we accomplish (even the small things) I get so excited over because it means we are one step closer to her. Today is a good day, because we received our medical report and we are both healthy and one more step closer to our daughter. Yah.
Many of you are asking me what the next steps are. Well, from my understanding (because there is a lot that isn’t clear to me right now) Darryl and I and our adoption practitioner will compile all of our documents (which we are finished collecting, we just need to sort through them and put them all together). These documents will be sent to KidsLink (which is our adoption agency – the people who will liaise with Zambia) and Kidslink sends the documents to the Ministry of Ontario. The Ministry will send a letter approving us for adoption which will take about 4 weeks. Then it is off to the races. We send all our documents to Zambia and then wait for a referral of a baby (a picture and profile, etc.) This should take anywhere from one month to five months. Our baby will remain in Zambia for 3 months before we go and get her to bring her home. With any luck we will have her home in time for next Christmas, but I would love to have her here sooner. I just don’t want to get my hopes up.
I can’t stop thinking about our baby’s mother. I can’t get her out of my mind. I know this is crazy because she hasn’t been assigned to us, we don’t even know who she is. I just know that this woman is going to be making the biggest sacrifice of her life very soon. I feel so bad for her. The guilt I feel is astounding. Yesterday, the weather report said it was raining in Zambia and I pictured her walking, pregnant in the rain. Each day I wake up, I think about what she will eat that day, what kind of nutrition will she give our baby? Does she know that she will be giving up the baby? Does she know if she has aids? Does she know that she will soon go through the worst kind of pain a mother can go through. I feel bonded to this woman I don’t know. I feel strangely attached and protective and I feel love for her.