Thank the Goddesses for girlfriends!

So yesterday I was really feeling down. We received some news from our agency that wasn't so positive and in essence meant that the wait was going to be a bit longer. We knew that international adoption was not an easy ride, however, never could have conceived in my little head that it would be this bad. So, we were originally quoted two to twelve weeks until we received a referral however, we are already in the 15th week of waiting with no end in near site. It looks like, at this point, our baby girl will not be home this year and this is a really hard thing for me to deal with. It is really hard for me to admit that to all of you as-well. I had been so positive that all of the stern warnings I received from family and friends before I had begun this adoption were wrong - that I was going to prove you all wrong. It is hard for me to accept that I was wrong. I especially hate admitting my father was right because that means he might know something I don't and who likes that?

I had already imagined our first Christmas together. I had pictured everyone coming over to our house, our in-laws loving her up, my mother happily singing Christmas carols (joke and for those of you who know my mother, you know why) with the smell of turkey filling the air and a sense of tradition being expanded with everything that Amara will add to our lives. I pictured the fall walks and shopping for the most special present for her. I am quite sad that in all reality it won't be this Christmas I have dreamt about all this time. However, am still quite hopeful as things with this adoption seem to change daily, hourly, minutely (I know I just made that word up on the fly). So, for now we are in for a long wait and in the meantime, we get to save more money, meaning Darryl will get more time off work, to be in Africa with Amara and me which is our silver lining.

So, here is where the girlfriend thing comes in. Feeling very blue and defeated and full of self-pity, I went for tea at a girlfriend's home last night, got to love up her children which helped, chit-chat about something other than adoption (which is rare these days) and on top of all that, she filled my car with a shitload of baby things. My favorite of which is a co-sleeper so that she can sleep with me when I am in Africa or at home. OK those of you who are already moms of children who are born attached, back off. I know, "you don't want to start that, you will never get her out of it". But, I have read several books on attachment and adoption and this is the best choice for our family. I know it is going to be hard, but really I feel this is the best thing for her, plus, I can't imagine at this point ever wanting her out of my site, not even when sleeping. All of this aside, for our first little while together, attachment will be our main priority. For those of you who are interested, here is a link to better explain http://www.adoptionarticlesdirectory.com/Article/Why-We-Need-to-Attach/16466.

Ok, so now that I have finished with my bonding rant, Kara also gave us a piano play mat thingy, cute clothes, a swing for the cottage, a thing to keep the baby's head in place in the car seat, and a bunch of other things. I am so grateful for all the wonderful things, all of our friends have provided us over the last 8 months of this adoption, but mostly, I am grateful for their love and support and their determination to take my mind off our daughter.

Love you all!