Brut-AL

So I spent the beautiful long thanksgiving weekend with my in-laws including my 4 year old nephew Jacob. We had a great time up north, hanging out with the family and enjoying the beautiful fall colours. Just before the amazing turkey dinner my mother-in-law suggested that we all go around the table to say what we are thankful for. This is a tradition I am usually thankful for in and of itself however, whatever forces were at work this day caused me to have a complete and utter break-down. It was like this cry was a long time coming and I really, truly needed a BIG cry. I couldn't help it. I couldn't control myself. I couldn't stop. I just started bawling and saying, "I am not grateful for shit". Which is not true however, in that moment was the way I felt. It was quite embarassing and talk about bringing down the party. Brut-Al.
So after about 10 minutes of crying, my nephew said, "Aunt Anjewa?"
I replyed, "yes, Jacob?"
"Are you worried about your baby"?
"Exactly, I am so worried about my baby" - in my head I was thinking, how could this little guy get it so much? That is exactly what I was feeling. I have this feeling she is born and without me on this day of celebration. I can't rock her to sleep or soothe her when she needs it. Exactly, Jacob, worried is the word. She was supposed to be here by now and she's not. Instead, she is without me to love on her and take care of her and I am soooooo worried about her.

He then says, "Well, you should have brought her then".

Simple as that. What a kid. So funny. To the point. Spot on - I wish I could have brought her. And so I started laughing and the breakdown was over.

The thing I enjoy most in my life is being an Auntie and the moments like these make me love my role even more!